It's always sad to hear unhappy marriage stories. I know some married people, living a life of mediocrity. I'd like to think that I'm a good listener and a sound advisor lest they won't dare share some of the most private things in life. The problems vary from financial crisis, to nosey in-laws, dissatisfaction with their sex lives, infidelity, down to basic incompatibility (you'll never believe how toothpaste triggers quarrels each day). The gravity, the characters and the scenarios differ, but I noticed that the end result remain the same. They hold on to what the majority approves.
For one, a giflfriend who's been married for 8 years, told me she doesn't enjoy making love to her husband anymore. When I told her there's professional help (sex therapists) around, she looked at me like I'm a porn star and dismissed the idea. She said it will offend her husband, and she's too shy to let someone, even a doctor, pry into their bedroom life. Sure, I get the shy part. But really, married for 8 years and you can't even tell your husband he's not a sex machine and they need help?
A guy friend resorted to extramarital activities, because after two kids and a stressful banking career, his wife became boring in bed. He vowed that he loves his wife, and all he wanted from his girlfriends is physical satisfaction. Of course I didn't buy the idea. Recently, his wife found out about his infidelity, made a scene, gave him a curfew and went back to their perfect married lives.
A relative's husband refuses to sell the car despite piling debts, another friend's wife doesn't like to have a child. Not a married tale but a former boss, with all her money and brilliant career, goes to sleep alone in her posh condominium each day because she's in love with a married man - who married his wife for political ambitions.
The stories get nastier, and it saddens me to see that reality is indeed uglier than fiction. I'm in no position to judge how they choose to live their lives, so all I do is strive to be a dependable but objective friend. I tell them what I think from out of the box, some options that might help, and the fact that we're friends, what kind of shit they're in.
I have the highest regard for marriage and the people who are brave enough to take their relationships to the next level. To a point of no return, to forever. I'm amazed on how much they are capable of forgiving, of loving unconditionally, of sticking to the plan.
I don't think I have it in me, or maybe I don't have a clue yet. All I know is that I can't forgive an unfaithful boyfriend, so why on earth should I get a husband? Until I'm convinced that I can love unconditionally, and not search for the door for every red flag raised, then I'm staying right where I am. And where I am right now can be my version of forever.
Appreciate your thoughts, nothing's right or wrong! :)
From the Nook,